Side note from the baby (who's doing great by the by)...
Does anyone else watch The Biggest Loser? Anyone else HATE Vicky?? Wowzer. That woman is pure evil.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Weight Update
Went to breastfeeding group this morning...my little butterball is up to 8 lbs. 11 oz.!
He gained almost a whole pound this week!!
He gained almost a whole pound this week!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Once Upon A Child + Bathtime
Today my parents came to visit! It was great to see them - - and I even ventured out of the house for an hour and fifteen minutes (not that I'm counting) with my mom while the boys stayed at home to watch the Bears. I had some errands to run and things I wanted to do that I couldn't have done with D. I'm not supposed to take him into real "public places" like stores until he's 6 weeks old.
On the agenda was Target (who, since the birth of D, has received an extraordinary amount of my family's money), Borders (for a "Baby's First Year" type book) and Once Upon a Child.
For those of you unfamiliar - as my mom was - Once Upon a Child is an amazing kids resale store. They are located all across the country and gives people a chance to get gently used items at GREAT prices.
I wanted to stop in to get a few clothing items for the D man, as he's currently in between sizes - not quite fitting into some of his 0-3 months stuff, but too big for Newborn & Preemie clothes. Of course, he's growing into more every day...but I just wanted to get a couple quick, cheap outfits that he can continue to grow into but can wear a little big for now. We got 4 of the cutest things ever - and that place is BUSTING at the seams with children's clothing, toys, accessories, furniture, etc. I had been a few times before D's birth (as they're right down the road from my house) to look at their crib selection - when I wasn't sure what we were getting. Yes, they have cribs! They have everything! And, you can sell your stuff to them when you're done with it...you won't make a ton of money - but you're recycling items for other people to use if you don't donate it to charity or have more kids to pass it on to.
I encourage you to check them out if you have kids - or are buying gifts. It's great.
EDIT: Just added, bonus video of Mr. D prior to his bath this morning.
On the agenda was Target (who, since the birth of D, has received an extraordinary amount of my family's money), Borders (for a "Baby's First Year" type book) and Once Upon a Child.
For those of you unfamiliar - as my mom was - Once Upon a Child is an amazing kids resale store. They are located all across the country and gives people a chance to get gently used items at GREAT prices.
I wanted to stop in to get a few clothing items for the D man, as he's currently in between sizes - not quite fitting into some of his 0-3 months stuff, but too big for Newborn & Preemie clothes. Of course, he's growing into more every day...but I just wanted to get a couple quick, cheap outfits that he can continue to grow into but can wear a little big for now. We got 4 of the cutest things ever - and that place is BUSTING at the seams with children's clothing, toys, accessories, furniture, etc. I had been a few times before D's birth (as they're right down the road from my house) to look at their crib selection - when I wasn't sure what we were getting. Yes, they have cribs! They have everything! And, you can sell your stuff to them when you're done with it...you won't make a ton of money - but you're recycling items for other people to use if you don't donate it to charity or have more kids to pass it on to.
I encourage you to check them out if you have kids - or are buying gifts. It's great.
EDIT: Just added, bonus video of Mr. D prior to his bath this morning.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friendsday
So yesterday (Wednesday/Friendsday - get it people?) was a big day for D. He had two visitors which were two new faces for him to get to know. It was great to have people from the "outside" come in during the day. I like to have company and get some "grown up" conversation going.
First up was my friend Grace. She and I used to work together at my old ad agency. She drove up to see us - brought Panera for lunch - and we chatted about her upcoming wedding, and the baby of course. I feel bad - because I'm not much of a conversationalist these days. I'm so focused on what D is doing, and haven't done much besides breastfeed and change diapers for the past 3 1/2 weeks, so it's not like I have a lot of "new" things to discuss. Either way - we had a great time. I love seeing Grace - and she spent some time with my little man...
After a couple hours - Grace took off - and just a bit later the doorbell rang - and it was Jeremy! J Po is a roommate of Evan's (Dain's brother) and a good friend. He's been wanting to see D since his birthdate (almost 4 weeks ago!!) - so he stopped over yesterday on his day off and got some face time in with the little man...
Good times.
First up was my friend Grace. She and I used to work together at my old ad agency. She drove up to see us - brought Panera for lunch - and we chatted about her upcoming wedding, and the baby of course. I feel bad - because I'm not much of a conversationalist these days. I'm so focused on what D is doing, and haven't done much besides breastfeed and change diapers for the past 3 1/2 weeks, so it's not like I have a lot of "new" things to discuss. Either way - we had a great time. I love seeing Grace - and she spent some time with my little man...
After a couple hours - Grace took off - and just a bit later the doorbell rang - and it was Jeremy! J Po is a roommate of Evan's (Dain's brother) and a good friend. He's been wanting to see D since his birthdate (almost 4 weeks ago!!) - so he stopped over yesterday on his day off and got some face time in with the little man...
Good times.
Monday, November 17, 2008
More Growing, More Photos
WOW - I just came back from breastfeeding support group at the hospital. It's a free weekly meeting in the garden room in the maternity center - where a bunch of moms and babies get together and talk about breastfeeding issues and just gab. I was hesitant to go - but the lactation nurse said that they bring the scale every week - and I can keep up with how D's weight is doing...so that's the reason I went.
It actually was a good time. Lots of babies - ranging from 1 week old to 13 months. It was nice to hear that another baby had explosive, audible gas - and that other moms are giving their baby a bottle after each feeding as well...
After a while - I got up to weigh D. His last weight was 7 lbs. 2 oz. at the doctor last Tuesday. Today - he was 7 lbs. 14 oz.!! (He did have a diaper on that weighed 2 oz. - weighed after removal) so that means he's up to 7 lbs. 12 oz.!!! Hooray for my growing boy!
Here's some photos we took over the past week - while he was doing all this growing!
D with Great Grandma Meyer:
Being held by his daddy:
He finally fit into one of the 0-3 month outfits! (sorry the crotch of the outfit is open - we were in the middle of a change):
It actually was a good time. Lots of babies - ranging from 1 week old to 13 months. It was nice to hear that another baby had explosive, audible gas - and that other moms are giving their baby a bottle after each feeding as well...
After a while - I got up to weigh D. His last weight was 7 lbs. 2 oz. at the doctor last Tuesday. Today - he was 7 lbs. 14 oz.!! (He did have a diaper on that weighed 2 oz. - weighed after removal) so that means he's up to 7 lbs. 12 oz.!!! Hooray for my growing boy!
Here's some photos we took over the past week - while he was doing all this growing!
D with Great Grandma Meyer:
Being held by his daddy:
He finally fit into one of the 0-3 month outfits! (sorry the crotch of the outfit is open - we were in the middle of a change):
Friday, November 14, 2008
Every 5 Years...
So - Dain and I have been together for more than 10 years. YICK right? Isn't that bizarre?
Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow. With the arrival of D - we haven't really realized it was coming up, and almost forgot that it's a bit of a "milestone" anniversary.
5 Years ago on November 15th (tomorrow) - here we are:
We had been together just over 5 years when we got married. It was quite an amazing day, and remembering my anniversary makes me want to watch my wedding video!
I realized that every 5 years - something incredible comes along for Dain and I. After our first 5 years of dating - we got married. Then, 5 years later - here is what we got:
If every 5 years I can have something happen that's so amazing as the past two "anniversaries" - I can't wait to see what's next.
Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow. With the arrival of D - we haven't really realized it was coming up, and almost forgot that it's a bit of a "milestone" anniversary.
5 Years ago on November 15th (tomorrow) - here we are:
We had been together just over 5 years when we got married. It was quite an amazing day, and remembering my anniversary makes me want to watch my wedding video!I realized that every 5 years - something incredible comes along for Dain and I. After our first 5 years of dating - we got married. Then, 5 years later - here is what we got:
If every 5 years I can have something happen that's so amazing as the past two "anniversaries" - I can't wait to see what's next.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tough Day Turned Good
It's been a rough day - that turned into a good one.
I was SO tired this morning when Dain left for work that I nearly broke down for the dreaded 'nap' that I'm in such fear of. However, I stuck it out. I turned on the Jon & Kate Plus 8 that I had taped earlier in the week and held my baby in my arms and tried to fight off the tired with some Hostess Donettes that my mom left for me. It worked pretty well. D did get a little powdered sugar on his face though :)
After his next feeding and a few diaper changes and some snacks for me - we were sitting on the couch when the alarm on his monitor went off. 3 beeps - and this time it was for "Apnea" - which is supposed to mean he hasn't taken a breath in 20 seconds. I PANICKED. I looked down in my arms at my peacefully sleeping baby and realized he was just fine.
I immediately called Dain - in tears - which terrified him. Not the fact that the Apnea alarm went off for the first time - but the fact that I called him in tears. It was when I was on the phone with him that I realized that at 4:00 am his alarm went off for a "Loose Lead" - meaning one of his little sensors wasn't even attached right - and being that it was the middle of the night and the alarm stopped - I hadn't remembered to fix it yet. We thought this was the culprit, and I hung up the phone.
An hour later I was still panicked - so I called the hospital nursery (a number I've been encouraged to use since day 1 but haven't really). I told them what had happened, and the nurse told me to call the monitor customer service number. So - I did. The woman on the phone was SOO nice - and explained that if D was fine - there was nothing to worry about - and it could have been any number of things. She even told me that we don't even need to be recording (writing down on this chart we got) his beeps if none of them have been anything. She compared the monitors to smoke detectors in your house. A lot of people's go off all the time when they cook, etc. It just is a way to alert you that there COULD be a problem. I felt much better after talking to her.
I then called the lactation lady back at the hospital to report the good news of D's increased weight and my success with pumping and feeding. She was thrilled with how things were going and suggested that if I didn't have weekly weigh-ins with the doctor anymore - that I come to the "breastfeeding support group" at the hospital each Monday morning. They have a scale there each week and I can keep track of how he's doing better that way. And - I can see her each week that way too and feel better about my progress. Plus - she's a nurse and helps me feel better about lots of little things that have to do with D in general. She's so nice.
So - since then - I've felt good. I also have realized today - that I'm now D's soother. He will be fussy (or his little version of fussy) and all it takes is me picking him up and talking to him for a minute for him to feel better and go to sleep in my arms. (In fact, I've typed this entire blog while holding my little warm, sleeping bundle of fun).
FUN FACT OF THE DAY ABOUT D: His eyes, while still not to their "final color" are a GORGEOUS gray/blue right now. I seriously am envious of my child.
I was SO tired this morning when Dain left for work that I nearly broke down for the dreaded 'nap' that I'm in such fear of. However, I stuck it out. I turned on the Jon & Kate Plus 8 that I had taped earlier in the week and held my baby in my arms and tried to fight off the tired with some Hostess Donettes that my mom left for me. It worked pretty well. D did get a little powdered sugar on his face though :)
After his next feeding and a few diaper changes and some snacks for me - we were sitting on the couch when the alarm on his monitor went off. 3 beeps - and this time it was for "Apnea" - which is supposed to mean he hasn't taken a breath in 20 seconds. I PANICKED. I looked down in my arms at my peacefully sleeping baby and realized he was just fine.
I immediately called Dain - in tears - which terrified him. Not the fact that the Apnea alarm went off for the first time - but the fact that I called him in tears. It was when I was on the phone with him that I realized that at 4:00 am his alarm went off for a "Loose Lead" - meaning one of his little sensors wasn't even attached right - and being that it was the middle of the night and the alarm stopped - I hadn't remembered to fix it yet. We thought this was the culprit, and I hung up the phone.
An hour later I was still panicked - so I called the hospital nursery (a number I've been encouraged to use since day 1 but haven't really). I told them what had happened, and the nurse told me to call the monitor customer service number. So - I did. The woman on the phone was SOO nice - and explained that if D was fine - there was nothing to worry about - and it could have been any number of things. She even told me that we don't even need to be recording (writing down on this chart we got) his beeps if none of them have been anything. She compared the monitors to smoke detectors in your house. A lot of people's go off all the time when they cook, etc. It just is a way to alert you that there COULD be a problem. I felt much better after talking to her.
I then called the lactation lady back at the hospital to report the good news of D's increased weight and my success with pumping and feeding. She was thrilled with how things were going and suggested that if I didn't have weekly weigh-ins with the doctor anymore - that I come to the "breastfeeding support group" at the hospital each Monday morning. They have a scale there each week and I can keep track of how he's doing better that way. And - I can see her each week that way too and feel better about my progress. Plus - she's a nurse and helps me feel better about lots of little things that have to do with D in general. She's so nice.
So - since then - I've felt good. I also have realized today - that I'm now D's soother. He will be fussy (or his little version of fussy) and all it takes is me picking him up and talking to him for a minute for him to feel better and go to sleep in my arms. (In fact, I've typed this entire blog while holding my little warm, sleeping bundle of fun).
FUN FACT OF THE DAY ABOUT D: His eyes, while still not to their "final color" are a GORGEOUS gray/blue right now. I seriously am envious of my child.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Growing Boy
So we have a beansprout on our hands!
At our doctor appointment yesterday - I learned that D is now 7 lbs. 2 oz. and 21 inches long! He's growing fast! He's going to be a tall boy I'm convinced.
Of course - hearing that he's doing "great" was enough to put me in tears of relief...and they told me to keep "doing what I'm doing". This means I'm going to continue breastfeeding and giving him a bottle with another ounce in it after each (most) feedings.
I'm going to continue feeding him every 3 hours too. And, letting him rest and poop and pass copious amounts of gas :) Of course I'm terrified that I'm not doing something right - but I guess you never know. I also am exhausted - but am too scared to nap when he naps because I'm afraid I won't wake up with him. At night I sleep okay - but it's because Dain is right there and provides a back up to me, the baby crying and/or the alarm clock. For some reason I'm just convinced I can't nap with no one else here. I don't know if this will ever change...
FUN FACT OF THE DAY ABOUT D:
Every time he yawns - he makes a combo clicking/squeak noise that's adorable.
At our doctor appointment yesterday - I learned that D is now 7 lbs. 2 oz. and 21 inches long! He's growing fast! He's going to be a tall boy I'm convinced.
Of course - hearing that he's doing "great" was enough to put me in tears of relief...and they told me to keep "doing what I'm doing". This means I'm going to continue breastfeeding and giving him a bottle with another ounce in it after each (most) feedings.
I'm going to continue feeding him every 3 hours too. And, letting him rest and poop and pass copious amounts of gas :) Of course I'm terrified that I'm not doing something right - but I guess you never know. I also am exhausted - but am too scared to nap when he naps because I'm afraid I won't wake up with him. At night I sleep okay - but it's because Dain is right there and provides a back up to me, the baby crying and/or the alarm clock. For some reason I'm just convinced I can't nap with no one else here. I don't know if this will ever change...
FUN FACT OF THE DAY ABOUT D:
Every time he yawns - he makes a combo clicking/squeak noise that's adorable.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
More More More
My mother-in-law brought over a CD of photos from this past week/weekend yesterday - and I thought I'd share. It's always nice to have more photos of my little guy!
D is doing great. We're going back to his pediatrician today to get weighed in. We'll see how he's growing!
Here's D and Uncle Kohl last week:
Me and my new favorite person on the planet:
D in an outfit that's a little too big!:
D and his Aunt Marcy:
More to come!
D is doing great. We're going back to his pediatrician today to get weighed in. We'll see how he's growing!
Here's D and Uncle Kohl last week:
Me and my new favorite person on the planet:
D in an outfit that's a little too big!:
D and his Aunt Marcy:
More to come!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
By Popular Demand
So I'm getting crap for not having enough photos of the little guy up. So, this is an attempt to remedy that. We haven't been taking a ton - just because it seems like we're always doing something with him that requires more attention than a camera.
We DID have a field trip yesterday to Dain's parent's house. It was nice to get out of the house for a while. D got to spend time with his grandma, grandpa, Aunt Marcy, Uncle Evan and even got to see his Great Aunt Connie and Great Uncle Ed. Of course, I forgot my camera for that - but Aunt Marcy took some pictures and so did grandma - so hopefully I'll get some of those.
Here's some photos in no particular order of D's first week at home. He's still doing good...pretty peaceful - just eats, sleeps and poops - LOUDLY (seriously our kid has extremely audible poops). We had a couple more beeps from the monitor - but I spoke with a nurse from special care nursery and she made me feel a lot better about it. I also spoke with a lactation specialist from the hospital and have been feeling better about his feedings too...although I'm still confused over how often I should indulge his seemingly constant request to feed. I guess that will come with time.
Okay - enough jabber - here's the photos...
A burp with grandma Susie:
Our first family shot -although I look like scary mommy:
Watching the Bears with his dad and his Bears blanket from the hospital:
Probably the face he'll make at me for the rest of his life:
And finally - for those of you curious as to how Penny is doing with him:
(She actually is pretty mopey around here - constantly trying for our attention. All she wants to do with D is occasionally sniff him - so it's so far so good. PS we only let her lay like that next to him for about 5 seconds to get photos...don't worry I'm not letting my kid ingest copious amounts of dog hair!)
We DID have a field trip yesterday to Dain's parent's house. It was nice to get out of the house for a while. D got to spend time with his grandma, grandpa, Aunt Marcy, Uncle Evan and even got to see his Great Aunt Connie and Great Uncle Ed. Of course, I forgot my camera for that - but Aunt Marcy took some pictures and so did grandma - so hopefully I'll get some of those.
Here's some photos in no particular order of D's first week at home. He's still doing good...pretty peaceful - just eats, sleeps and poops - LOUDLY (seriously our kid has extremely audible poops). We had a couple more beeps from the monitor - but I spoke with a nurse from special care nursery and she made me feel a lot better about it. I also spoke with a lactation specialist from the hospital and have been feeling better about his feedings too...although I'm still confused over how often I should indulge his seemingly constant request to feed. I guess that will come with time.
Okay - enough jabber - here's the photos...
A burp with grandma Susie:
Our first family shot -although I look like scary mommy:
Watching the Bears with his dad and his Bears blanket from the hospital:
Probably the face he'll make at me for the rest of his life:
And finally - for those of you curious as to how Penny is doing with him:
(She actually is pretty mopey around here - constantly trying for our attention. All she wants to do with D is occasionally sniff him - so it's so far so good. PS we only let her lay like that next to him for about 5 seconds to get photos...don't worry I'm not letting my kid ingest copious amounts of dog hair!)
Friday, November 7, 2008
My Beautiful Boy
If you want to see the photos they took at the hospital:
www.bellababyphotography.com
Click on WEBSITE
Click on CLIENT
Password is dain1025
www.bellababyphotography.com
Click on WEBSITE
Click on CLIENT
Password is dain1025
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Blogger is Back! (Part 3)
Sorry again for the cliffhangers and days and days between posts. I'm officially a wreck, and have not made time for much else besides making sure every need of D's is taken care of.
Thursday should have been the best day ever - but it wasn't.
I got up that morning looking forward to the possibility of going home. I went down for feedings, showered, and got dressed in real clothes. That evening was supposed to maybe be "go home" time. D was ordered phototherapy (a light treatment where they basically look like they're tanning) to treat his jaundice that would start that day. He got his hearing test done (passed) and his car seat test done (passed) and even his circumcision (poor kid). I was then down for a feeding - after nursing him - and getting ready to start the phototherapy treatment I sat in the chair to watch. He had to wear these "goggles" that looked funny but made me sad to see him with a blindfold on. I watched as they placed him back in the closed isolette with nothing but his diaper on - and sat for a few minutes. I heard the little alarm he was hooked up to the entire time in Special Care start to go off for a lower heart rate - and in came the nurse. His heart rate was dropping - and so they rubbed his head, and picked him up to stimulate him. Sure enough, his heartrate went back up - but then started descending again (an issue known as "Bradying"). This happened about 4 or 5 times in a row - and I watched in terror - bawling my eyes out - while one nurse listened with a stethoscope and the other called his doctor.
After those few episodes - he was fine - and it didn't happen again. However, the doctor ordered an overnight "Fact Study" - where he was hooked up to more monitors and given another nose tube - and ordered an EKG, along with some bloodwork. Needless to say, we weren't going home that day.
The next afternoon (Friday) - the results came back. Everything was fine. The doctor had no explanation for what happened, and wanted to watch him one more night with one more night of phototherapy. Our doctor in the hospital (the neonatologist) recommended going home with a Sleep Apnea monitor for D as well. Basically it would show the same info the hospital monitors did - and let us know if he had a dip in heart rate or a delay in breathing. We agreed to it - it actually would bridge the gap in my mind of constantly being able to see how he was doing.
So that was Friday late afternoon. I was supposed to be kicked out of the "hospitality" room I was STILL in (I had been literally in the same room since the previous Friday morning when I came in - and since I was restricted by the MRSA - I had only been in that room and the nursery since). I felt a little Howard Hughes like, but the nurses gave me permission to stay the last night in the room so I could be near the D-man.
Saturday morning finally came. I got dressed in real clothes again, and we met with my mom and the man from the monitor service to learn everything about the monitor that was coming home with us. We learned how to run it, what the alarms would mean, and got a crash course in CPR. I was crying through the whole thing. Terrified of the alarms going off...but terrified of what would happen without them.
We finally headed for home about 1:30 p.m.
Saturday night we had two beeps once for "low heart rate" which sent me nearly into hysterics, and then one beep a few hours later for the same. However, the beeps are supposed to last the duration of the event - so that means it just dipped quickly and went right back up without needing stimulation or that dreaded CPR that I now know how to do - but can't bring myself to think about administering.
Since then - we've been doing feedings and baths, my mom has been keeping us fed, and we have learned that the beeps have subsided. We've had about 4 other beeps since...just 1 at a time - a few for high heart rate and a few for low. Dain and my mom are not worried - but I can't help myself. We had a visit from a Delnor nurse, who was just concerned as he's lost weight - so we're upping the feedings to at least every 3 hours - which means I'm not sleeping, but that's okay. We also are giving D a little bit of my milk in a bottle after he's done nursing to help him pack on some L-B's.
My mom went home yesterday morning - so that Dain and I could have a couple days with D on our own. We went to the pediatrician - who was not at all concerned with the monitor issues - and seemed fairly relaxed about everything since day one. I guess that's a good sign - but I need regulation and direction...not this "well it looks fine" crap. Fine is NOT my favorite word. But, this all makes Dain happy so I'm living with it.
I'm now sitting on my couch with D next to me on a pillow, making baby sounds as he flails his arms (he loves to flail his arms). This is the most surreal experience of my life. I'm terrified every minute, crying the next, and just trying to figure out how I'll be able to do this on my own every day. Dain goes back to work tomorrow, but my mom is coming back tomorrow morning to be with us for Thursday and Friday so that I get a little more time to adjust. I've never loved anything more than my little family - and I'm terrified of screwing something up or of losing this amazing little guy. I know this seems crazy - but being a mommy is terrifying and wonderful all at once - and I will keep you posted as to how I am doing.
I apologize to everyone who I'm not getting calls back to. Don't take anything personally - the only person I've talked to since coming home is work. I promise I'll be better at this soon. I'm just still adjusting...and if you know me, and my anxiety level at a NON-maternal rate - you'll understand how I'm doing now that my hormones and baby have arrived!
Thursday should have been the best day ever - but it wasn't.
I got up that morning looking forward to the possibility of going home. I went down for feedings, showered, and got dressed in real clothes. That evening was supposed to maybe be "go home" time. D was ordered phototherapy (a light treatment where they basically look like they're tanning) to treat his jaundice that would start that day. He got his hearing test done (passed) and his car seat test done (passed) and even his circumcision (poor kid). I was then down for a feeding - after nursing him - and getting ready to start the phototherapy treatment I sat in the chair to watch. He had to wear these "goggles" that looked funny but made me sad to see him with a blindfold on. I watched as they placed him back in the closed isolette with nothing but his diaper on - and sat for a few minutes. I heard the little alarm he was hooked up to the entire time in Special Care start to go off for a lower heart rate - and in came the nurse. His heart rate was dropping - and so they rubbed his head, and picked him up to stimulate him. Sure enough, his heartrate went back up - but then started descending again (an issue known as "Bradying"). This happened about 4 or 5 times in a row - and I watched in terror - bawling my eyes out - while one nurse listened with a stethoscope and the other called his doctor.
After those few episodes - he was fine - and it didn't happen again. However, the doctor ordered an overnight "Fact Study" - where he was hooked up to more monitors and given another nose tube - and ordered an EKG, along with some bloodwork. Needless to say, we weren't going home that day.
The next afternoon (Friday) - the results came back. Everything was fine. The doctor had no explanation for what happened, and wanted to watch him one more night with one more night of phototherapy. Our doctor in the hospital (the neonatologist) recommended going home with a Sleep Apnea monitor for D as well. Basically it would show the same info the hospital monitors did - and let us know if he had a dip in heart rate or a delay in breathing. We agreed to it - it actually would bridge the gap in my mind of constantly being able to see how he was doing.
So that was Friday late afternoon. I was supposed to be kicked out of the "hospitality" room I was STILL in (I had been literally in the same room since the previous Friday morning when I came in - and since I was restricted by the MRSA - I had only been in that room and the nursery since). I felt a little Howard Hughes like, but the nurses gave me permission to stay the last night in the room so I could be near the D-man.
Saturday morning finally came. I got dressed in real clothes again, and we met with my mom and the man from the monitor service to learn everything about the monitor that was coming home with us. We learned how to run it, what the alarms would mean, and got a crash course in CPR. I was crying through the whole thing. Terrified of the alarms going off...but terrified of what would happen without them.
We finally headed for home about 1:30 p.m.
Saturday night we had two beeps once for "low heart rate" which sent me nearly into hysterics, and then one beep a few hours later for the same. However, the beeps are supposed to last the duration of the event - so that means it just dipped quickly and went right back up without needing stimulation or that dreaded CPR that I now know how to do - but can't bring myself to think about administering.
Since then - we've been doing feedings and baths, my mom has been keeping us fed, and we have learned that the beeps have subsided. We've had about 4 other beeps since...just 1 at a time - a few for high heart rate and a few for low. Dain and my mom are not worried - but I can't help myself. We had a visit from a Delnor nurse, who was just concerned as he's lost weight - so we're upping the feedings to at least every 3 hours - which means I'm not sleeping, but that's okay. We also are giving D a little bit of my milk in a bottle after he's done nursing to help him pack on some L-B's.
My mom went home yesterday morning - so that Dain and I could have a couple days with D on our own. We went to the pediatrician - who was not at all concerned with the monitor issues - and seemed fairly relaxed about everything since day one. I guess that's a good sign - but I need regulation and direction...not this "well it looks fine" crap. Fine is NOT my favorite word. But, this all makes Dain happy so I'm living with it.
I'm now sitting on my couch with D next to me on a pillow, making baby sounds as he flails his arms (he loves to flail his arms). This is the most surreal experience of my life. I'm terrified every minute, crying the next, and just trying to figure out how I'll be able to do this on my own every day. Dain goes back to work tomorrow, but my mom is coming back tomorrow morning to be with us for Thursday and Friday so that I get a little more time to adjust. I've never loved anything more than my little family - and I'm terrified of screwing something up or of losing this amazing little guy. I know this seems crazy - but being a mommy is terrifying and wonderful all at once - and I will keep you posted as to how I am doing.
I apologize to everyone who I'm not getting calls back to. Don't take anything personally - the only person I've talked to since coming home is work. I promise I'll be better at this soon. I'm just still adjusting...and if you know me, and my anxiety level at a NON-maternal rate - you'll understand how I'm doing now that my hormones and baby have arrived!
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Blogger is Back! (Part 2)
Sorry I have to do this in parts - - no Theresa, I'm not trying for cliffhangers - just trying to squeeze in some time for blogging when I'm not huddling over my baby or trying to eat and sleep and keep Penny the dog from getting too close to D.
At any rate - I was told I would have a c-section - and from there it was a rush of things going on. Dain was put in scrubs, my mom and mother-in-law were in the room waiting with me, and I was being prepped to be wheeled to the operating room. They said they'd come back for Dain. I was taken on a bed ride to the FREEZING cold operating room. Of course I'm in nothing but a hospital gown - and that's being removed for the incision. Doctors and nurses are rushing around, and I see the anythesiologist (I can't spell) by my head - telling me he's giving me more medication, and to try to relax as I was being covered partially with blankets and my arms were being strapped like I was being placed on a cross. The blue curtain went up right below my chin and they tried to wrap a towel around my head - but I told them I was claustrophobic and that wasn't a good idea. I notified the doctor that whatever they just gave me made me want to throw up - and they rummaged around for a "sick tray" but I couldn't wait - so the nurse just told me to turn my head, and I did - to have puke just running down my face, until my friend the pain doctor wiped it away for me.
After what seemed like an eternity - Dain walked in and sat down by my head and held my hand - and I felt like I was being tugged off the table, and like someone was sitting on my chest. Then I hear "here's his head" and then "here he is - do you want to stand up and see him dad?" Dain was hesitant, but stood up - and saw not only our baby, but me cut wide open...which I don't think he loved. Then, I heard a cry, and saw more rushing around and I just layed there waiting. Pretty soon they poked around the curtain holding up a white-covered baby that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He was born at 1:54 am and was 6 pounds, 15 ounces and 19 inches long. I saw him for about 10 seconds (literally) without getting to touch him, when they whisked him off to the Special Care Nursery with Dain, and I layed there more. My friend, the pain doctor told me he was giving me something to relax me, and the next thing I know - I was being wheeled back into my room where I saw my mom and mother-in-law waiting. I have no idea what happened then, or if I talked or didn't. I think I slept for a long while - and when I came to, Dain was back in the room with a video of our little man and footprints on the front of his scrubs. Apparently D had to have a bit of oxygen and other things done that were hard for Dain to watch - but were necessary.
I honestly don't know what happened over the next 24 hours. I know I got to go see the baby FINALLY at 11:30 the next morning. I got to hold him and couldn't believe it was real. I honestly don't know when I started pumping, or how the next few days went by. I know we started going to the nursery to feed him - which was through an NG tube in his nose, and we literally held up a syringe to watch it go down. I know I ate, and I watched TV, and had visitors, and spent as much time with him as possible. I know that his lungs were fine really quickly, and that he was doing okay, but he was in the isolette to keep his body heat regulated, and I couldn't hold him all the time - which was all I wanted to do.
I had to be wheeled to the nursery the first few days - and the first time I got up to shower I wasn't told to leave the door open or make it brief, and when I got out ring for the nurses help to dress my wound - I passed out. Then as two nurses walked me back to my bed - I passed out again. Good times.
Dain had gone back to work each day - so I spent my days back and forth to the nursery, taking cat naps, and talking to work to get things straightened out. I was technically supposed to be out of the hospital on Wednesday - but due to "hospitality" I was allowed to stay 2 more nights as I had a baby in Special Care. This was all well and good - as we were maybe going to go home Thursday anyways...
Then came Thursday...
At any rate - I was told I would have a c-section - and from there it was a rush of things going on. Dain was put in scrubs, my mom and mother-in-law were in the room waiting with me, and I was being prepped to be wheeled to the operating room. They said they'd come back for Dain. I was taken on a bed ride to the FREEZING cold operating room. Of course I'm in nothing but a hospital gown - and that's being removed for the incision. Doctors and nurses are rushing around, and I see the anythesiologist (I can't spell) by my head - telling me he's giving me more medication, and to try to relax as I was being covered partially with blankets and my arms were being strapped like I was being placed on a cross. The blue curtain went up right below my chin and they tried to wrap a towel around my head - but I told them I was claustrophobic and that wasn't a good idea. I notified the doctor that whatever they just gave me made me want to throw up - and they rummaged around for a "sick tray" but I couldn't wait - so the nurse just told me to turn my head, and I did - to have puke just running down my face, until my friend the pain doctor wiped it away for me.
After what seemed like an eternity - Dain walked in and sat down by my head and held my hand - and I felt like I was being tugged off the table, and like someone was sitting on my chest. Then I hear "here's his head" and then "here he is - do you want to stand up and see him dad?" Dain was hesitant, but stood up - and saw not only our baby, but me cut wide open...which I don't think he loved. Then, I heard a cry, and saw more rushing around and I just layed there waiting. Pretty soon they poked around the curtain holding up a white-covered baby that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He was born at 1:54 am and was 6 pounds, 15 ounces and 19 inches long. I saw him for about 10 seconds (literally) without getting to touch him, when they whisked him off to the Special Care Nursery with Dain, and I layed there more. My friend, the pain doctor told me he was giving me something to relax me, and the next thing I know - I was being wheeled back into my room where I saw my mom and mother-in-law waiting. I have no idea what happened then, or if I talked or didn't. I think I slept for a long while - and when I came to, Dain was back in the room with a video of our little man and footprints on the front of his scrubs. Apparently D had to have a bit of oxygen and other things done that were hard for Dain to watch - but were necessary.
I honestly don't know what happened over the next 24 hours. I know I got to go see the baby FINALLY at 11:30 the next morning. I got to hold him and couldn't believe it was real. I honestly don't know when I started pumping, or how the next few days went by. I know we started going to the nursery to feed him - which was through an NG tube in his nose, and we literally held up a syringe to watch it go down. I know I ate, and I watched TV, and had visitors, and spent as much time with him as possible. I know that his lungs were fine really quickly, and that he was doing okay, but he was in the isolette to keep his body heat regulated, and I couldn't hold him all the time - which was all I wanted to do.
I had to be wheeled to the nursery the first few days - and the first time I got up to shower I wasn't told to leave the door open or make it brief, and when I got out ring for the nurses help to dress my wound - I passed out. Then as two nurses walked me back to my bed - I passed out again. Good times.
Dain had gone back to work each day - so I spent my days back and forth to the nursery, taking cat naps, and talking to work to get things straightened out. I was technically supposed to be out of the hospital on Wednesday - but due to "hospitality" I was allowed to stay 2 more nights as I had a baby in Special Care. This was all well and good - as we were maybe going to go home Thursday anyways...
Then came Thursday...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Blogger is Back! (Part 1)
Here I am - all home and a mother.
I have to say...in my absence - Dain has been a wonderful writer. I cried while reading his entries (although I am crying at the drop of a hat these days - and feel like I should be dangerously dehydrated since the birth of D). Now everyone sees who the true writer is in the family...he's truly gifted and makes me feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to grace the keys of this keyboard.
But - I'm back. We're home!
Seeing as I'm malnourished, exhausted, and hormonal - this may not make a lot of sense...but deal with it.
What an experience this has been. It has simultaneously been the best and worst week of my life. I keep saying that - and it's so true...but I'm not a bad mother for saying that - I've just been through the ringer.
Starting a week ago Friday - I thought I was just being sent to the hospital as a precaution...and learned within a few minutes of an amniotic fluid test that I would be giving birth that day (or the next) and that my baby would not be staying with me in the room, and probably not be going home with me. Dain rushed back from work to be by my side - and get me things from home - as we hadn't packed a bag.
Soon - my mom and dad were there and my in-laws. I was hooked up to an IV and given pitosin to start my labor progressing. I was also told that I tested positive for MRSA and would have to have the nurses putting on gowns and gloves every time they came in the room. All my visitors would have to do the same - although that made me angry - so I told them not to follow that rule.
My dosages were slowly increased and though I wasn't really dilating - I was starting some contractions that were on and off pain that was relatively tolerable - - sometimes even laughable.
Hours and hours passed - slowly increasing my contractions and pain. I have no idea how long I was in the horrible pain - but let me tell you - it was terrible. We waited a long time for the epidural to come - it felt like centuries - but I somehow made it...then spent hours contracting in peace...I think I slept a lot. Then, came the hard part - them coming in the room saying that I was dilated to 6 or 7 - and he was at 0 station. I was getting ready - - and then his heart rate dropped and I was told we were having a c-section, and would I please sign the form...
(Part 2 to come)
I have to say...in my absence - Dain has been a wonderful writer. I cried while reading his entries (although I am crying at the drop of a hat these days - and feel like I should be dangerously dehydrated since the birth of D). Now everyone sees who the true writer is in the family...he's truly gifted and makes me feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to grace the keys of this keyboard.
But - I'm back. We're home!
Seeing as I'm malnourished, exhausted, and hormonal - this may not make a lot of sense...but deal with it.
What an experience this has been. It has simultaneously been the best and worst week of my life. I keep saying that - and it's so true...but I'm not a bad mother for saying that - I've just been through the ringer.
Starting a week ago Friday - I thought I was just being sent to the hospital as a precaution...and learned within a few minutes of an amniotic fluid test that I would be giving birth that day (or the next) and that my baby would not be staying with me in the room, and probably not be going home with me. Dain rushed back from work to be by my side - and get me things from home - as we hadn't packed a bag.
Soon - my mom and dad were there and my in-laws. I was hooked up to an IV and given pitosin to start my labor progressing. I was also told that I tested positive for MRSA and would have to have the nurses putting on gowns and gloves every time they came in the room. All my visitors would have to do the same - although that made me angry - so I told them not to follow that rule.
My dosages were slowly increased and though I wasn't really dilating - I was starting some contractions that were on and off pain that was relatively tolerable - - sometimes even laughable.
Hours and hours passed - slowly increasing my contractions and pain. I have no idea how long I was in the horrible pain - but let me tell you - it was terrible. We waited a long time for the epidural to come - it felt like centuries - but I somehow made it...then spent hours contracting in peace...I think I slept a lot. Then, came the hard part - them coming in the room saying that I was dilated to 6 or 7 - and he was at 0 station. I was getting ready - - and then his heart rate dropped and I was told we were having a c-section, and would I please sign the form...
(Part 2 to come)
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