Here I am - all home and a mother.
I have to say...in my absence - Dain has been a wonderful writer. I cried while reading his entries (although I am crying at the drop of a hat these days - and feel like I should be dangerously dehydrated since the birth of D). Now everyone sees who the true writer is in the family...he's truly gifted and makes me feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to grace the keys of this keyboard.
But - I'm back. We're home!
Seeing as I'm malnourished, exhausted, and hormonal - this may not make a lot of sense...but deal with it.
What an experience this has been. It has simultaneously been the best and worst week of my life. I keep saying that - and it's so true...but I'm not a bad mother for saying that - I've just been through the ringer.
Starting a week ago Friday - I thought I was just being sent to the hospital as a precaution...and learned within a few minutes of an amniotic fluid test that I would be giving birth that day (or the next) and that my baby would not be staying with me in the room, and probably not be going home with me. Dain rushed back from work to be by my side - and get me things from home - as we hadn't packed a bag.
Soon - my mom and dad were there and my in-laws. I was hooked up to an IV and given pitosin to start my labor progressing. I was also told that I tested positive for MRSA and would have to have the nurses putting on gowns and gloves every time they came in the room. All my visitors would have to do the same - although that made me angry - so I told them not to follow that rule.
My dosages were slowly increased and though I wasn't really dilating - I was starting some contractions that were on and off pain that was relatively tolerable - - sometimes even laughable.
Hours and hours passed - slowly increasing my contractions and pain. I have no idea how long I was in the horrible pain - but let me tell you - it was terrible. We waited a long time for the epidural to come - it felt like centuries - but I somehow made it...then spent hours contracting in peace...I think I slept a lot. Then, came the hard part - them coming in the room saying that I was dilated to 6 or 7 - and he was at 0 station. I was getting ready - - and then his heart rate dropped and I was told we were having a c-section, and would I please sign the form...
(Part 2 to come)
4 comments:
sweetie, i am right there with you. i know. i totally totally know. i'm so sorry, but glad! there are so many emotions. i totally understand. i love you & am so glad you & baby are okay. xoxo lh.
We're all proud of you Mommy! I know having a baby in the NICU is hell and so are the gowns, I've been there. But you made it though and now you've got a very beautiful baby boy at home with you. I'll be over to see you all just as soon as I can get away. Most likely after work tomorrow. Congratulations again!
A cliffhanger? On a blog??? I'm hanging on by the seat of my pants here -- type away and let mom hold the baby for crying out loud (although I already know this story and how it ends).
And I also vote to let Dain be the new blogger -- he's much funnier than you.
Love you!
I too loved Dain's blog entries. Very insightful, moving, and funny. (Not that yours aren't, Marie. Really, they're fine. Just fine. Perfectly fine). Since you are a non-return-call-maker, I am forced to tell you on your BLOG how much I love you, miss you, can't wait to see ALL of you, and am here for you - anything you need or advice you may want. I'm so happy that Little D is finally home where he belongs.
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